Recently, I had the opportunity to sit down with Tracy Steen, online fitness coach and founder of Move Daily, for a conversation centered around “Why We Overeat, Overwork, Overscroll”, and one of the most important, and often misunderstood, ideas in personal growth: what it actually means to work on yourself.
In a world full of quick fixes, motivational slogans, and surface-level self-help advice, many people still find themselves stuck in the same emotional patterns, habits, and cycles of avoidance. During this interview, we explored why positive thinking alone often falls short, how emotional pain fuels addictive behaviors, and what genuine self-development really requires.
We also discussed the concept of “the current of addiction”, emotional resilience, cravings, and why learning to sit with discomfort may be one of the most transformative skills a person can develop.
You can watch the entire interview below and follow Move Daily Instagram for future episodes.
Below is a small extract from our discussion, focused on what it really means to work on ourselves.
What Does It Mean to Work on Yourself?
Working on yourself means breaking things down into something specific and actionable. To me, it also means not wasting effort on self-deprecating generalizations. Instead, you get precise about what is actually going on.
It’s also not about repeating positive affirmations like: “I’m fine. I’m smart. I’m likable.” We can’t just talk ourselves into feeling better. A lot of people get stuck there.
Instead, real work involves honestly looking at what’s not working – but doing it without shame. That distinction is important.
Yes, we should look at past experiences, but not in a repetitive or retraumatizing way. It’s not just digging into pain, it’s understanding transformation. More often, the focus is on how those experiences shaped beliefs, behaviors, and emotional patterns.
When Working on Yourself, Why Doesn’t Positive Thinking Work on Its Own?
There is a lot of messaging in the self-help world about positive thinking, affirmations, and declarations that are supposed to move you forward.
But if that alone worked, we would all already feel fine. Most people already have enough things going well in their lives that, in theory, positivity should be enough. And yet it isn’t.
Even gratitude practices – like appreciating modern comforts or being thankful to be alive – don’t consistently override deeper emotional patterns.
If positive thinking alone were enough, suffering wouldn’t persist. And clearly, it does.
This doesn’t mean positive thoughts are useless. They can feel good when they arise naturally. But we can’t force them or skip the internal steps required to actually change how we feel.
How Do We Build Tolerance for Uncomfortable Emotions?
The more emotional pain we carry, the more we tend to seek comfort, distraction, or escape. Many people turn to substances, food, or compulsive behaviors for temporary relief. But what underlying pain are you trying to soothe when you reach for these coping mechanisms?
Before addressing deeper emotional material, it’s important to learn how to tolerate discomfort. One of the first skills is learning to sit with cravings, whether for alcohol, food, or other impulses. We need to create space between impulse and action.
It’s okay to have desires. It’s okay to want comfort. It’s okay, for instance, to want a milkshake. What matters is not acting automatically every time. That space can be developed through mindfulness, grounding, meditation, and techniques like urge surfing.
A simple exercise is to place a tempting item in front of you and observe:
- What thoughts arise
- What emotions appear
- How the urge builds
- How it peaks
- And how it eventually subsides
If you don’t act on it, you learn something powerful: urges pass. This builds emotional tolerance and creates agency instead of reactivity.
How Can Curiosity Help Us Understand Painful Emotions and Work on Yourself?
When people experience emotions like low self-worth, they often either accept it as truth or try to escape it. But neither approach is helpful.
Instead, we can approach it with curiosity. Rather than saying “I’m a bad person,” we can pause and explore:
- What is this feeling?
- Where does it come from?
- What is it trying to tell me?
Curiosity turns a closed statement into an open process. That shift is where real self-understanding begins.
Example: How to Manage Stress While Working on Yourself
Some stressors can be changed directly, through boundaries, decisions, or action. But many cannot be easily removed: family dynamics, work challenges, or long-term situations.
In those cases, the work shifts inward. We begin to observe:
- How we react under stress
- Whether we avoid, overwork, or shut down
- What patterns we default to
These are coping mechanisms, and identifying them is essential. Real change starts with understanding your internal responses, not just changing external circumstances.
Tools That Can Help You While You Work on Yourself
Here are two programs that can be helpful.
Move Daily by Tracy Steen
Move Daily is a holistic fitness and wellness platform created by Tracy Steen, designed to help people build sustainable movement habits, strength, and long-term health.
It goes beyond traditional workouts by combining structured training programs with mindset support, nutrition guidance, and lifestyle coaching. The focus is on consistency over intensity, helping people integrate movement into everyday life in a realistic and sustainable way.
Inside the platform, members typically get access to:
- Structured workout programs and follow-along training sessions
- Nutrition and lifestyle guidance to support fat loss, strength, and energy
- A supportive coaching environment designed for long-term habit change
- Programs tailored especially for women in midlife, focusing on strength, mobility, and healthy aging
The goal of Move Daily is to make fitness a consistent part of life, not an all-or-nothing effort, and to help people build confidence in their body through daily, manageable action. You can learn more here.
Self Recovery
I created the Self Recovery program to address the underlying “current” beneath behavior patterns, or any type of addiction. Whether someone is struggling with severe addiction or simply trying to reduce reliance on unhealthy coping strategies, the core principles remain the same.
The program is about understanding what drives behavior at a deeper psychological and emotional level. It includes:
- Short, structured video lessons
- Practical integration exercises
- A music component designed to support emotional connection and reflection
- Optional live support groups
It is designed as a roadmap for developing awareness, agency, and mastery over one’s behavior. Start Self Recovery now.
